For those of you following along with this year’s book “Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway” by Susan Jeffers, PhD, here’s a bit of Chapter 6 (“When ‘They’ Don’t Want you to Grow”).
As we grow out of our need to stay in the pain and instead choose to grow into our own personal strength and power, we may encounter resistance from those around us. Rather than stay in “The Moan and Grown Society”, as Dr. Jeffers calls it, we opt to be around more positive, supportive people.
A key factor in our continued growth requires a supportive, inspirational group of friends around us. The challenge occurs when those closest to us are the ones resisting us the most.
Dr. Jeffers offers this insight:
“…AWARENESS is the key. Know that in all likelihood, as you start to take risks and grow, you are going to get resistance from people in your life. It’s a given. If it isn’t your mate, it will be your parents or your children or your friends. When you rock the boat, someone will tell you to sit down. You need not feel shocked, surprised, or self-righteous. It is their way of defending their security. Often they don’t even know they are doing it. In their minds, these admonitions and observations seem totally justified and ‘for your own good.’ What is important is that you know what is happening.
Also know that as we go through this process, we may tend to over compensate for our previous passivity and go all the way to aggression when what we really mean to be is assertive especially when we feel the need to defend our new-found strength and power. Part of our defensiveness comes from thinking we need the approval of others in order to feel good about ourselves.
She offers some wonderful examples of win-win dialogue in handling resistance and defensiveness without aggression and suggests reading books on how to dialogue assertively.
Through all of this, it’s important to be our own best friend without putting ourselves down, which leads me to my own personal favorite mantra and fits quite nicely here regardless of where we are on our path of personal growth:
I love and accept myself just as I am.
Ponder this as you color Section 6 of the 2012 Mandala of the Year.
Happy Coloring!
joyfully,
Maureen, The Mandala Lady
www.facebook.com/TheMandalaLady
Be sure to download/color the June 2012 Mandala of the Month.
Mandala of the Year 